


WTF is Going On

by SuijiVia



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Crack, Crack Crossover, Explicit Language, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, One Shot, Other, Randomness, Tags Are Hard, Why Did I Write This?, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25318375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuijiVia/pseuds/SuijiVia
Summary: When two sisters suddenly drop into the world of SnK, they're extremely confused. And also disgusted at the lack of fashionable clothing, of course.Great. Just great. Now they're stuck between helping someone who's supposed to die or running away for their lives from ugly, naked giants who run like waddling penguins.
Kudos: 1





	WTF is Going On

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work for this fandom, and like the tag says, I wrote this at 2 a.m. instead of sleeping xD  
> I hope you enjoy this little drabble!

“Huh. Well then. This is weird.”

“Gee, you don’t say,” May drawled at her sister. Her nose wrinkled in disgust as she picked at the drab outfits that had magically appeared on them.  
April ignored her in favor of hopping about and scanning her surroundings. The streets were relatively empty, with few people hustling around.

“Hmmmmm.” April frowned and absentmindedly twirled her black hair. “Okay, this is weirder than I first thought. Wayyyy weirder.”  
May rolled her eyes and glanced at the streets, “Where are we?”  
April shrugged, “No idea. But who cares! This is kind of exciting!” she squealed. “It’s just us here, May. Picture it! Are you picturing it, girlie?”  
May glared, “Picturing what? Are you high or someth-”  
“No!” April cut in, “I did not eat any meth brownies.”  
May sighed and pinched her nose. “Then what-”  
“We can do whatever we want. By ourselves. No parents! We can literally go anywhere.”  
May threw up her hands exasperatedly, “Yes, which leads us to being dead in a ditch or starved in a well.”  
“Ummmm, I don’t think so.” April wore a skeptical expression on her face. “Annnyway, let’s explore. This place could use some color but we’ll make due.”  
“Hmm, I guess you’re right. A little shade of red goes a long way.”  
“For real,” April nodded. “C’mon!” She motioned May over before skitting away. 

May groaned and ran to catch up with her sister. As the pair walked down the street, May grabbed onto April’s arm protectively. She hesitantly glanced around. There was something really off about this place.  
April spared her sister a small glimpse. “What is it?”  
May shook her head. “Nothing”

Then it was eerily silent. Too silent. May frowned. Her sister was usually a chatterbox. She looked over at April and flinched at the glare directed at her.  
“What?!”

April harrumphed, “You’re not gonna talk? What’s bothering you?”  
When May remained silent, April shrieked, “Well, out with it already!”

“Okay, okay! Fine! This place gives me the creeps! Are you happy now?”

April looked smug. “I am, actually.” Then she snickered, “Awwwww, is whittle May-may scared? Don’t worry, it’s just unfashionable clothes and drab buildings we have to deal with.”  
May glared, “Oi! Shut up! Don’t you feel something’s off at all?”

“Besides the fact that we’re wearing shitty rags and are currently in the middle of somewhere-that-looks-absolutely-bland-with-no-color? No.”  
“You’re being way too carefree!” May shuddered as she took a suspicious glance at the towering walls encased around the city. “It’s the damn walls I tell you.” 

April huffed and waved a dismissive hand. “Puh-lease. You worry way too much. Can’t be good for your one brain cell.” 

“I-”

“Plus, the atmosphere here seems pretty calm, no? We’re fine.”  
“You know in those scary movies where you think you’re fine but you’re really not fine? Yeah, that’s us right now.”  
“Correction. That’s you right now. No need to get your pretty ugly little head in a twist. Me? I’m fine. Loosen up, won’t ya?”  
May huffed as she scrunched up her nose in distaste, “Fine then. Be that way. I bet some shit will be going down soon. Just you wait.”  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. This looks like the setting for a nice cafe. I say we find one and treat ourselves.”

“More like a setting for a dystopian novel,” May grumbled. “But sure, whatever floats your boat.”  
“D-dystopian novel??” April sputtered, “Are you serious? People are drinking. Talking. Laughing.”  
May nodded her head in agreement, “Yes, they are drinking and laughing their sorrows away.”  
April rolled her eyes. “More like to get so out-of-it so they don’t have to listen to whining from annoying bitches like you.”

The slithering feeling of dread slowly crept up on May again. She wiped her sweaty palms on the beige skirt of her dress anxiously.  
“I’m telling you April, I’m getting really really really bad vibes from this place. Something feels awfully wrong. It seems way too calm around here.”

April wore a look that screamed both exasperation and confusion. “But nothing’s happening. Literally nothing,” April stressed. “We’ve been walking and chatting, and people are hanging about. What’s with you?”  
May pulled at her hair as she spoke through clenched teeth, “No shit, dipshit. But that doesn’t mean that something bad won’t happen.”  
Now April looked exasperated.. “Okay, I get it. We’re in God-knows-where and the architecture is disgusting.” April snorted, “But stop being overly paranoid. You and your stupid, inaccurate sixth sense.” 

Now let’s take a moment here to remember that April currently has her back facing the walls. So it was to no one’s surprise when she had no reaction whatsoever to the dark and towering shadow that suddenly loomed over them. May however, turned paler than a ghost. And she was already pretty damn pale to begin with.

May’s mouth dropped as she openly gaped like a fish, “U-u-um, A.”  
April huffed, “What is it now, May?”  
“I th-think you m-m-might want to take a l-look behind you,” May stuttered as she lifted one shaky finger to point behind her sister.  
“M, I swear if this is some lame joke-”

April’s words died in her throat. She stared. Then she shrieked.

“HOLY SHIT! IT’S THAT ONE OVERUSED MEME.”

“I fucking called it. I knew something was up the second I saw those damn walls.” May turned even paler if that was possible. 

“HOE, YOU WORRIED ABOUT THE WALLS?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT GIANT RED-VEINS-FOR-A-FACE MEME MUSCLE MAN DOING HERE?”

“HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW?? DO I LOOK LIKE WIKIPEDIA TO YO-?”

BAM!

April didn’t know her sister could get any paler until that hideous muscle man broke the damned walls. Oh shit. It broke the wall.  
“It. B-broke the w-wall. Uhhh am I seeing this? I can’t be the only one seeing this-”  
May snapped out of her stupor and screeched, “NO SHIT, DIPSHIT. GET A MOVE ON! WE GOTTA GET OUT NOW.”  
May grabbed her sister’s wrist and pulled her through the stampeding streets. People were crying. People were dying. And May really didn’t give a shit.

…

…

At least she didn’t...until a naked giant with a creepy wide ass grin began chasing them. Its arms and legs moved in such an unnatural motion that it was physically impossible to not cringe at. April glanced behind her as she ran to snicker, “Fucking hell. Looks like a waddling penguin if you ask me.” 

“WHY IS THAT WHAT YOU CHOSE TO FOCUS ON?” May screeched in her sister’s ear. “On a side note though, our older bro runs like that.”

April choked, “Whut da fuq, M-”

A boulder dropped from the sky. It nearly crushed the two girls but we won’t focus on that fact. 

“MAY, YOU AND YOUR STUPID SIXTH SENSE. I OWE YOU ICE CREAM IF WE MAKE IT OUT ALIVE. AND IN ONE PIECE.”

“GUESS I’M NOT GETTING THAT ICE CREAM THEN.”

April pulled May to one side and barely escaped the crashing boulder. It landed with a loud thud mere inches away from where they’d just been a second ago. Its impact crushed a small house that had stood meters away. 

Two small children, a boy and a girl, rushed out and began screaming.  
“Goddamn, my eardrums hurt like hell,” April plugged her ears with her fingers and groaned as the midgets continued screaming. Dammit, the sound of boulders being thrown about and people shrieking were already damaging for pete’s sake. The damn twerps didn’t need to make it worse.

“Help! Somebody help!”

May and April snapped their eyes to the two kids. The girl’s dark hair glistened in the sunlight, and the boy’s strangely familiar eyes were shining with tears. 

Now, listen up. Normally, May wouldn’t give two shits about two bawling brats. She especially would not give two shits about two bawling brats in the middle of God-knows-where and she’s about to die. But this ain’t normal, so therefore, she does, in fact, give two shits about the two bawling brats. 

May tugged the sleeve of April’s rags (god, once this shitfest was over, they had got to get new clothes; good grief) and muttered, “We’re in trouble.” 

“NICE OBSERVATION, YOU DIPSHIT.”  
May shook her head rapidly, “Nuh uh. Like ACTUAL trouble.”  
April’s eyeballs practically bulged out of her head. “I don’t know about you, but dying from flying rocks and naked giant Ken dolls seems like trouble to me.”  
May clutched her hair in frustration. “No! LIKE ACTUAL TROUBLE. MEANING I THINK I KNOW WHERE THE FUCK WE ARE.”  
April screamed hysterically, “WHERE?!” 

“UHHH HELLO? WE’RE SO STUPID, OH MY LIFE. FUCKING NAKED BITCHES THAT RUN LIKE PENGUINS? THOSE TWO BAWLING BRATS OVER THERE? WALLS? HELLO??? RINGING ANY BELLS?”

April looked confused before freezing. May could’ve pinpointed the exact moment the realization smacked her sister’s face. “We’re fucked. We are so fucked.”  
“I KNOW.” May took a deep breath and straightened up. “Well, since we know where we are, what are we waiting for then? We gotta help them!”

April sputtered, “Woah woah woah. What?”

“What do you mean what? IT’S FUCKING EPISODE 1, BITCH! THE MOM CAN’T DIE YET.”

“WHO?”

“THE MAIN JAEGER BITCH’S MOM, YOU DIPSHIT!”

April blinked. Once. Twice. “People have been dying the second muscle man and his naked loonies burst in. WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE STAY TO HELP ANYONE NOW?”

“BECAUSE!” May fumed, “HIS MOM!”

....  
…  
...

“Wait, what was her name again?”

April stared in disbelief, “Oh my-”

“It’s been ages since we watched this anime, okay? Whatever. THE POINT IS. WE NEED TO SAVE HER.”

“WE CANNOT!” April screeched.

“WHY NOT?” May demanded.

“ARE YOU STUPID? HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ANIME PROTAGONIST WHO’S A BADASS HAVE A MOTHER WHO’S ALIVE?”

“I-”

“IT’S TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT. LITERALLY. NAME ONE.”

“MIDORIYA IZUKU FROM BNHA. THERE.”

“OH MY GOD I SWEAR-”

“YOU TOLD ME TO NAME ONE, AND I NAMED ONE.”

“BRUH, YOUR ANSWER JUST PROVES MY POINT. DO YOU KNOW WHY THE BROCCOLI COULDN’T CONTROL HIS QUIRK AT FIRST AND TOTALLY ANNIHILATED HIMSELF TO USE IT?”

“Uhhhhh, because he never trained with it and wasn’t used to it yet??”

“NO! IT WAS BECAUSE HIS MOTHER. IS. STILL. ALIVE.”

“THAT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE WHATSOEVER!” May screeched.

“It most certainly does.” April had no right to be looking as smug as she did. “It’s the same logic as to why best boi midget spinner is a total badass.”  
“I-“ May stammered in the most undignified fashion. “Whatever. Levi doesn't count, cause he ain’t the main character.” 

April waved a dismissive hand. “Whatever. Don’t get all prissy just cause I’m right.”

“Fine, fine,” May relented grumbly. “So now what?” she questioned. “We just let her die?” 

“Bitch, do I need to make my badass-anime-protagonists-never-have-alive-mothers speech again?”

“No. You do not.”

“Good. Now let’s get the fuck out of here BEFORE WE GET EATEN.” 

This time, April was the one to drag her sister away. They only got about 200 meters away from the scene when yet another haunting naked giant with a psychotic Joker smile appeared to reach down into the wreckage of the Jaeger family’s home and pulled out a familiar wriggling figure. 

The two girls watched in horror as the oversized, naked, bloodthirsty Ken doll slowly lifted the woman to its widened jaws. April tore her gaze away and grabbed onto her sister’s shoulders. “Remember just earlier when I said this place could use some color, and you said a bit of red would do nicely?”

“Um, yes. What’s that got to do with anything now?” May absentmindedly replied as she continued to stare, wide-eyed, at the grinning titan.  
“Well. Looks like you’re about to get your wish. The color of blood is a pretty hue, no?” April gulped.  
May squawked, “Not what I meant when I said that.”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I ain’t sticking around to watch somebody get torn in half,” April managed to say.  
“Yeah, no. You right, you right.” With that said, the two ran away from the scene, leaving the poor woman to her demise at the hands of the ugliest, naked giant thingie that runs like a penguin.

“Ya know, maybe this anime wouldn’t be so bad if those stupid titans were hot.”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, APRIL?”  
April gave a shaky grin, “Just a thought.”

And alas, these were the final words of the two annoying sisters before they too, got snatched up by an ugly, naked giant titan bitch and contributed their lovely blood to dyeing the disgustang, drabby buildings a gorgeous shade of crimson.

Let this be a lesson to all of us as to why we would never survive in ‘tis bootiful land known as AOT. 

(Poor things. They didn’t even have the chance to be graced by the one and only Levi Ackermann’s presence).

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my sis for putting up with my ass to read through this nonsense for me :)


End file.
